In this section we will provide resources that have been helpful for us to understand Aisha/Pema and our involvement with her.
Terror, Love and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems by Alexandra Stein (Routledge, 2016)
In this book one gets to understand how normal, rational, clever and successful people can get manipulated by charismatic leaders like Aisha/Pema. The author uses attachment theory to describe how a spiritual teacher (or any coercive controller, eg. in a family) creates a ‘situation of fright without solution’ and forms a bond through which one ends up doing things against their own self-interests. Many of us recognize how Aisha/Pema related to us through a disorganized attachment style, as described in this book, where it was impossible to predict how she would react. Loving us one moment, shaming us the other, and how that created cognitive dissonance where we were unable to think critically. This book shines light and greatly helps to untangle oneself from harmful ways of relating. And much more!
For a short introduction to the idea, one can listen to A Little Bit Culty podcast with Dr Alexandra Stein, the author:
https://podcasts.apple.com/dk/podcast/the-numinous-podcast/id852171726?i=1000430470477
Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation by Daniel Shaw (Routledge, 2013)
This book provides an explanation of how narcissism works in interpersonal relationships and what are the dynamics of it. After relating to Aisha/Pema, one instantly recognizes the similarities – how she creates dominance over her students through making her view of reality the only objective view and everyone else’s view is seen as subjective. After reading the book one understands sort of the structure of Aisha/Pema and her destructive effect, and is able to de-fog themselves from her influence, a really good read!
For a short introduction, one can listen to A Little Bit Culty podcast with Dan Shaw:
https://podcasts.apple.com/dk/podcast/a-little-bit-culty/id1553334816?i=1000519819593
Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan (Freedom of Mind Press, 2015)
The book is a great resource for explaining the techniques of persuasion and undue influence. There are so many things that Aisha/Pema is practicing and once one understands it, one cannot unsee it, so it is a great resource. For instance, she discourages current students to talk to students that left through describing those who left as people of low consciousness that were not good enough, below human, or in other cases, provides false information that they are still grateful to her but need to be left alone to learn something. So in short, she is controlling the flow of information. Also, she used to run an online space called Gateway where people would share their journeys of awakening and chat with others in the group. There she would delete any post within seconds that would portray her in an unfavorable light instead of replying to it, and people would just disappear from there without anyone knowing what happened to them. So she is controlling information, emotions (fear and anger are poisons in her teachings), behavior (eg. covid is hoax according and vaccines will kill people to her so she was discouraging her students to seek medical professionals when it was needed), and thoughts (eg. having a doubt was a bad thing), exactly as Steven Hassan shows in his model of authoritarian control. It is quite illuminating.
A good introduction to his ideas is in A Little Bit Culty podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/dk/podcast/conspirituality/id1515827446?i=1000482235230
“Survivors of an International Buddhist Cult Share Their Stories” – an investigative article by Matthew Remski (The Walrus, 2020)
A read on abuses committed by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche inside Shambala International. Trungpa is a favorite spiritual figure for Aisha/Pema and many of her students, she shares Buddhist lineage with him, so it is pivotal to also know about his ‘missteps’ and about what was and still is happening in his sanga.
Rachel Bernstein and Indoctrination podcast
She is a therapist and was abused by a narcissist. This sparked her interest in manipulation, cults and protecting oneself from systems of control.
Her podcast is a good resource because she interviews all kinds of people, experts and victims, plus she keeps it therapeutic and well informed.
https://podcasts.apple.com/dk/podcast/indoctrination/id1373939526